You know that feeling when someone echoes your thoughts? When you hear someone almost read your mind? When someone says exactly what you were about to? That special bond that someone finally gets you?
Well that’s how I felt when I heard Sarah Blondin on live awake podcast. All of a sudden the fog cleared away because someone knew EXACTLY where I get stuck and I felt relieved that I don’t have to explain. Below is the transcript of what I heard (read / listen only if you want to know the starting of darkness I get stuck in). Click on this Link for listening to it… and read below.
“I know the dark calls to you sometimes. That you turn your face from the light. I know you walk down the roads you know you shouldn’t, walk into places your heart is gently urging you not to. I know you see your habits and long to change them. I know you are tired of your worn out ways of being, tired of reliving patterns and choosing painful choices. I know you feel hollow at times, like life is escaping you. Dancing in front of you but out of your reach somehow. I know it hurts to live in the disconnect between what you are currently experiencing and what you know exists outside of you, beautifully, without effort. I know how much it hurts to live there , in the divide between what you feel you are and what you wish you could be.”
“I know you have tasted the sun on your skin and inhaled with complete trust and that you too at times find it hard to move without knowing what’s next. That at times life feels paralysing . I know you work so hard to control the outcome of your life, that you forget to breathe sometimes. That you live in the shallow end, that you forget to go deep, breathe deep. That you forget to meet yourself in the quiet and breathe yourself full again, that you forget there is a well of abundance and trust within you. That you forget to go there for fear of losing control.”
“I know there are places within your self that you do not love, the parts you try to wrestle away. I know they are there within you and they steal your joy. I know you visit them from time to time hoping they have somehow disappeared. I know you travel between internal peace and trust and terror and fear. I know you long to live more in bliss, where you know you are intended to live. I know you can feel it vibrating in your cells when you arrive there in the grace of bliss. That this, this is where you belong. When you arrive there you are so alive as if everything around you is telling you yes, you are home.”
“But I know too that shadows come and pull your feet. That they come sometime and drag you down when you are asleep to the familiar landscape of fear and doubt. I know you journey there’s too from time to time. Wondering if the light will ever return and you fear if you will outgrow the dance between the two worlds . I know you can see how much you have grown, that you are leaning to taste heaven , that you swear sometimes you could grow wings, that you believe life is in your favour. That you are rising above your dark, that you believe life is in your favour. That you are rising above your dark shadows, that you are becoming free. That you live there in the tear between these two worlds, between the dark and the light, between trust and hatred, between acceptance and resistance, between control and faith, between sun soaked mornings and dark forests.”
“You are human, my dear one, you are allowed to be in both ways, you are not wrong, you are not damaged, you are not failing because you still get lost in dark rivers. You are human. Be gentle when doubt comes, when fear chokes, and control debilitates and loneliness blinds you. Spend special care to love yourself in these darkness corridors of your being, spend special care to bring love to your own self, to take gentle care of your vulnerability when you are here .”
“When you arrive in the dark, know that you are being given the opportunity to grow your own internal garden of love. That the dark offers you the chance to love all of the places you never dare, all of the places that challenge you, all of the places you curse. That the dark offers a chance of restoration of love to your entire being no matter what land you stand in. When you are down you deserve more love, not less. Where we deprive ourselves of love is where we need it most…”